In late July, my husband Patrick and I welcomed two new additions to our household: Lucas and Reid. Both are elite soccer players and have joined our son Brady at our hometown’s professional soccer club, DC United. As minors, they need a host family to house and support them for the year.
When asked to be a host family, we were inspired by the opportunity to support two talented young people in living their dreams. Then, things got practical. From meeting two new families to taking care of the logistical details to learning how to make the best meals for not one, but three growing, high-performance athletes, the work and the lessons have come quickly.
Opening our home to strangers was awkward at first. Yet that discomfort has been the doorway to so much more. Our world is bigger now. More chaos, yes, but also more laughter, more perspective, and more to celebrate as we navigate everyone’s first year of professional academy soccer. We’re now three families who have come together in a joyful way.
Our goal is that the boys are better off for the year they spend with us. The leadership tactics I learned as a Marine proved their value once again as I integrated two teenagers into our household. Setting clear standards up front for chores, cleanliness, and contributing to the family has been key. By having candid conversations about what’s working and what’s not, we’ve started off strong in preventing the resentment and frustration that build from what’s left unsaid. And, by intentionally investing in connection, fun, and bonding, we’ve built a sense of team.
We can already see how this year is growing not only them, but us as well. Patrick and I have realized that being a caretaker of someone else’s hopes and dreams is profound. Just as the boys’ parents have entrusted their sons to us, our job as leaders is often to hold something precious that belongs to someone else. At work, it can be our team members’ careers, goals, and growth. Treasures that are not ours to own, only to steward well.
I also see clearly how belonging accelerates performance. Reid and Lucas can’t play their best soccer while feeling like guests in someone else’s house. Creating genuine belonging, where the boys can raid the fridge, have a bad day, and be fully themselves, isn’t soft stuff. It’s the foundation for them to perform at the level their dreams demand. A positive culture and psychological safety aren’t perks at work; they’re the fuel for success.
I’ve also been reminded that trust is built in small moments. In our first month as hosts, we’ve had one in-game injury (where nature and nurture took over, and I reacted as if it was my own son), one dental emergency, lots of early morning kitchen chats, good windshield time driving to matches, and some fun laundry folding parties. The big gesture was saying yes to hosting. The big truth is that consistency beats intensity. People trust the leader who shows up reliably in the ordinary moments.
Reid and Lucas have reminded me that we develop most as leaders not just by acquiring skills, but by expanding who we make room for. I’m grateful to be in their village.
Founded in 2004, Lead Star is the company behind the best-selling books SPARK, Leading from the Front, and Bet on You. Lead Star helps professionals reach new levels of success through its innovative leadership development programs.
