Written by Courtney Lynch

My daughter recently decided she’s going to transfer to a different college. Still in her freshman year, she spent her first semester trying to engage. She joined clubs, invited new friends to dinner, took fitness classes, and even volunteered for a leadership role in a fundraising organization. Still, something wasn’t clicking. It’s as if the more she tried to find fit, the more disconnected she felt.

She noticed that her roommate, new friends, and many classmates loved the school, so she knew something was going on with her. When she came home for a weekend visit, I gently suggested that she might want to consider transferring. She listened to my thoughts and shared how she felt transferring seemed like a failure. It was nontraditional, and she just needed to stick it out. I listened and offered support.

By Thanksgiving break, she was deeply upset. This time, she asked me about transferring. I shared with her that there are times in life to endure. Sometimes, we must experience hardship for years to achieve something meaningful. Often, we need to defer gratification to be responsible for a bigger goal or purpose. I also added that I didn’t think college was something to endure. Sure, you might have a difficult class or challenging professor, and you have to dig in for a semester or maximize your effort for learning. Yet the college season should be joyful, full of exploration and engagement. I shared that if she had the courage to consider change, that might be what was needed.

The next day, we spent time considering what change could look like. She shared her fears and doubts. We talked about what she’d learned and what different criteria she would be looking for if she were to transfer. We also had creative discussions with lots of “what ifs” that allowed her to imagine differently and be accountable for applying lessons learned. I reminded her that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s your ability to face your fears and move forward. It’s okay to be scared when you are considering change.

The simple act of exploring why she was afraid to change inspired her to do just that. By the end of the holiday week, she knew she’d be applying to new schools. And she didn’t stop there. She declared she was going to reimagine her spring semester and wouldn’t be returning to campus. Instead, she applied to various study abroad programs and internships and registered at our local community college. In just two months, she went from dismayed to motivated. She wrapped her semester with strong grades and packed up her dorm room. Just last week, she arrived in Africa to serve as a crew member on a 112-foot sailing ship. She’ll earn 12 credits studying oceanography, marine biology, and leadership. After a 3-month voyage, she’ll come home to take calculus and English, which will round out her freshman year. Then, she’ll head back to Africa for a summer internship. In August, she’ll move into a dorm on her new, still unknown campus.

We all have seasons where choosing change creates new possibilities for growth, contribution, and opportunity. Is there anything you’re currently enduring that might be better off in your past? Consider choosing change.

Founded in 2004, Lead Star is the company behind New York Times best-sellers SPARKLeading from the Front, and Bet on You. Lead Star supports professionals to reach new levels of success through its innovative coaching programs.