Over the years, I’ve walked out of plenty of conversations thinking, “Well, that went great.” And then later found out… it really didn’t.
People were confused. Frustrated. Or completely checked out.
At first, I chalked it up to miscommunication—maybe I wasn’t clear enough. Maybe the timing was off. But the more I coached leaders and reflected on my missteps, the more I realized:
I wasn’t saying the wrong thing—I was saying it in the wrong language.
That realization led me down a path of discovery. I became increasingly curious about how people perceive and process what is being said. That curiosity has now become the heart of a writing project I’m working on, centered around what I call the Languages of Leadership.
What are the Languages of Leadership?
The idea is simple: most of us have a default communication style. It’s how we naturally explain, motivate, give feedback, or set direction. It feels right to us. But just because it makes sense to us doesn’t mean it lands with the person across from us. And if it’s not landing, it’s not leading.
So, What Helps a Message Land?
Through years of coaching and observing teams in action, I began to see a pattern. Five core communication styles kept showing up—not personality types, but emotional preferences in how people want to be led, heard, and understood.
Here are the five core communication styles:
- Vision – These individuals need purpose. They want the “why” before the “what.” Big picture, big impact.
- Clarity – They crave structure. Give them timelines, expectations, and eliminate surprises.
- Empathy – They want to be seen. Feelings come first—then they’ll follow.
- Empowerment – They respond to trust and challenge. Show belief in them, then get out of the way.
- Inclusion – They want a seat at the table. Invite input. Let them help shape the path.
Most people have a “native” language or two. When you speak in that language, they lean in. When you don’t, they tune out—or worse, they smile politely while disengaging completely.
This isn’t about softening your message or avoiding hard truths. It’s about translating what you’re trying to say so it actually gets heard.
The next time you’re giving feedback, casting vision, or setting direction, ask yourself:
- Am I speaking in a way they hear best, or just in the way I prefer to communicate?
- What does this person truly need—clarity, empathy, purpose, empowerment, or inclusion?
- Have I ever asked them what kind of communication helps them most?
Because leadership is translation, your job isn’t just to say it well—it’s also about ensuring your message connects with those you lead.
