Recently, I’ve become aware of personal challenges several people I know are quietly managing—family concerns, health issues, emotional stress. These are the kinds of things that don’t usually come up in a meeting or a hallway chat, but they’re very present in the background for the people experiencing them.
What stood out was how these unseen personal challenges can quietly shift behavior. Even without obvious changes, stress and emotional strain can affect how someone shows up—impacting their focus, tone, or engagement, often without them realizing it.
As leaders, we often expect transparency and performance but forget that people are not always ready—or able—to share their full story, they’re not prepared to let us in.
If we don’t take the time to really get to know our people and build trust, we end up looking through a tiny crack in the door, forcing us to make assumptions based on limited information. Those assumptions can be damaging, not just to the person but also to the culture we’re trying to build.
That’s why earning trust matters. When we consistently show up with empathy and curiosity, we create an environment where people feel safe opening up. Trust isn’t given—it’s earned through small, intentional actions that communicate, “You matter beyond the work.”
Here are three simple ways to start building trust and empathy as a leader:
- Check in, don’t just check on.
Make space in conversations to ask how people are doing—really doing. Let them know you care about them as individuals, not just employees. - Create consistent connection points.
Build relationships before there’s a problem. Informal moments—quick chats, shared laughter, remembering birthdays—build a foundation of trust over time. - Lead with curiosity, not conclusion.
When someone is off, instead of jumping to conclusions, ask yourself: What might be happening that I can’t see? Then, engage from a place of compassion, not correction.
We don’t always see the whole picture. But when we lead with empathy and commit to earning trust along the way, we invite others to open the door just a little wider—and that’s where real connection begins.
Founded in 2004, Lead Star is the company behind New York Times best-sellers SPARK, Leading from the Front, and Bet on You. Our mission is to support our clients in achieving better results through their people. By developing better leaders at every level, we help organizations unlock the essential capabilities needed to elevate their performance.
