Written by Kristin Harrington
Have you ever been in a meeting that oozes with fakeness? A massive, unspoken issue hangs over the room, yet no one dares to acknowledge it.
I’ve sat through my fair share of these tough-to-take meetings, where the niceties were laid on thick, and the performance was almost unbearable. I distinctly remember one meeting where a senior leadership team spent nearly an hour debating rearranging employee parking spaces—while the organization was in serious trouble. No one wanted to speak the hard truth; even worse, no one felt they had permission to say it.
There’s a phrase for this team dynamic: artificial harmony. It’s when everyone pretends to get along in the room, but the real conversations—the ones filled with frustration or disagreement—happen in hushed tones later. This false kindness may look like peace on the surface, but underneath, it’s conflict waiting to boil over. If your team or organization is trapped in artificial harmony, you’ve probably sensed it. It’s not hard to see, but it can be tough to address. So, how do you confront a team that’s drowning in pleasantries and avoiding real, honest conversations?
Create a culture of candor. Foster a culture where honesty is encouraged, even when it’s uncomfortable. Leaders need to set the tone by modeling open, candid communication. This doesn’t mean inviting negativity or complaints but giving people the space to express real concerns and explore solutions. Encourage your team to speak up in meetings and clarify that candid feedback will be received with respect, not defensiveness. If you’re concerned that you can’t create this culture across the larger organization, look for places where you can within your immediate team. Change often starts small; the courage to start somewhere makes the difference.
Encourage constructive disagreement. Healthy teams embrace constructive disagreement as a path to better decision-making. When people feel empowered to challenge ideas respectfully, it leads to deeper discussions and stronger outcomes. As a leader, encourage your team to question assumptions and debate issues openly without fear of damaging relationships. Remember, it’s not personal; we shouldn’t make it personal at work. Frame disagreements not as personal attacks but as opportunities to test ideas and refine strategies. By normalizing productive conflict, you help your team break free from the trap of artificial harmony and move toward genuine collaboration.
Address issues early. Don’t wait for the elephant in the room to become a stampede. Address problems head-on as soon as they surface. When issues are ignored, they grow, often into something far more complex and damaging. By addressing challenges early and directly, teams can prevent the buildup of frustration and resentment that fuels artificial harmony. Be proactive in your leadership by creating regular opportunities for team members to raise concerns or constructively share feedback.
Breaking through artificial harmony requires courage and intention from all team members, but the payoff is worth it. When teams move beyond surface-level pleasantries and start having real, honest conversations, they can solve problems faster, innovate more effectively, and build stronger, more authentic relationships. The goal isn’t to eliminate all conflict but to create a space where it can be addressed openly and productively. It’s time to stop tiptoeing around the elephant in the room and start fostering a culture where real dialogue leads to real progress. Your team—and your organization—will be stronger for it.
