My daughter Kara has the benefit of a brilliant mentor. He’s 80, she’s 20, and they have the best exchanges about life and career. Bob, her mentor, was an accomplished CEO, a Marine, and is a beloved husband, father, and grandfather. He knows a thing or two about pretty much anything my daughter brings his way.
Recently, she shared her disappointment about making it to the final round of an internship selection process, blowing the interview, and losing out on the opportunity. In an accountable way, she outlined her missteps and desire to do better going forward. Bob offered encouragement and a genius bit of insight:
“I’m sorry the internship process didn’t go your way. But don’t dwell on it. You’ll have plenty of options coming your way. Adversity builds the scar tissue you’ll need to achieve revered elder status toward your later years. We’re always in your corner.”
How often do we, as leaders, dwell on missteps or ruminate on our frustrations? Bob is right. Once we’re accountable, it’s risky to linger on our failures; instead, we must keep moving toward the many opportunities the future holds.
I hope someday to be as revered as Bob is. I love that in his attempt to make my daughter smile (which worked), he also revealed a fundamental truth about life. Our less-than-best moments give us perspective and build our capacity for empathy, if we stay open to growing through them.
The exchange between Kara and Bob also serves as a reminder to share our disappointments. The more we work to make meaning of our lives, the more we learn, and the more we can flourish. Hiding failure limits learning. And we miss out on the chance to feel supported by coming face to face with the care, guidance, and comfort a trusted confidant can bring.
As you head into the week ahead, make time for mentorship. Whether you need to seek it or have the opportunity to give it, enjoy its brilliance.
Founded in 2004, Lead Star is the company behind the best-selling books SPARK, Leading from the Front, and Bet on You. Lead Star helps professionals reach new levels of success through its innovative leadership development programs.
